Men Are Turkeys

Awhile back a close friend asked me a question that I couldn’t quite find the correct answer to. “Do I believe in soul mates?” After laughing hysterically in this unnamed person’s face, I firmly answered, “NO!”…  That “NO!” was followed by a very stinky brain fart during a failed attempt to explain myself. So now, I’ve given this a lot of thought. Not to break anyone’s heart (this unnamed person in particular), but here is the deal ladies…  MEN ARE TURKEYS. They gobble and they wobble.

According to a study done by Louisiana State University 88% of American men and women between the ages of 20 and 29 believe they have a soul mate waiting for them. With that said, the divorce rate in the United States today is 50%. So now tell me, do you really think that 88% of America’s population has found the “one” and is living happily ever after? Let’s face it: If a genuine fairytale was ever written it would be Dopey’s  apples Snow White choked on, Sleeping Beauty would sleep forever, and Bell would be eaten by the Beast. According to the CDC 90% of first time divorces are caused by infidelity. Here’s a thought: Maybe, just maybe it is not in human nature to be with one person forever and therefore, contrary to your Disney infested mind, NO ONE IS WAITING FOR YOU. Now that we have come to terms with the fact that there are a lot of fish in the sea and they aren’t all named Ariel let’s get to the point.

This is Thanksgiving and it is time to eat! Make sure your turkeys are stuffed and roasted. If they don’t turn out well this year Wal-Mart carries them in bulk. Just cook it a little different next time! Maybe fried? Happy Holidays!



George Washington became the first president of the United States in 1789, and with that the bald eagle became our national symbol. What a lot of people don’t know is that many of our founding fathers objected to using this bird as an image of greatness. Benjamin Franklin was quoted, “The bald eagle… is a bird of bad moral character; like those among men who lived by sharping and robbing, he is generally poor, and often very lousy. The turkey is a much more respectable bird.” Bald eagles remain faithful to their mate until one of them dies. Ironically, Benjamin Franklin was also known for his scandalous love life. No wonder his name ended up in the Urban Dictionary, and bald eagles are listed as a threatened species!